You are a virus
A poison
A bacteria that sneaks its way into my body
And leaves me feeling sick for days
You are dark, you are sick, you are bad
You are a snake
Spiraling and winding your way through my mind
You are constricting
You haunt me
Every corner I turn
Every night I sleep
Every time I speak
You are there
Waiting
Waiting to kill me
Once again
“Free will” has limits. You don’t actually develop a sense of will until you are a few years old. If you suffer from serious enough depression it can actually change what your will is. If you have serious enough brain injuries it can alter your sense of will and change what you want.
Certain areas of life are predetermined. Where in the world you grow up and who your family is and which friends you have all partially determine what your future holds.
Because of these things, I don’t think free will actually exists. How can something be free if it has limits? Being free implies that it has no limits. I think we do have will, we definitely want certain things out of life, however that will is not free. Its partially predetermined and is dependent on where and when and who you are surrounded by.
Basically, I don’t believe in a god because I don’t believe that there is an essence of some kind that created everything else. I believe in science and chemical reactions and all that jazz. Logically, there is no room for a god.
But in my philosophy class we’ve been talking about the mind and how its this immaterial, non-physical thing that we may or may not have some control over. I’m not sure what to think about that.
If I agree and say that the mind is non-physical, and it obviously does all of our thinking, than couldn’t there be other non-physical items that also think?
If I disagree and say that the mind has an actual location in our brain, than science should be able to point to the part of our brain that holds all of the concepts and beliefs we have, but as far as I know that location has not been found.
Trippy man, trippy.
My head and my stomach have hurt for literally two weeks.
I have to keep reminding myself to breathe- it doesn’t just come naturally anymore.
I miss my sisters with my whole heart.
I’m in a slump I don’t know how to get out of.
I’m nervous about starting grief counseling. I can hardly talk to people I know, how am I supposed to tell a stranger all of my crazy thoughts and feelings?
I miss my mom. I can’t even describe how much it hurts that she’s gone. Its real physical pain that actually hurts and its constant and worse than anything else that’s ever happened. I understand dying is natural, and that I would never be “ready” for it to happen, but I was still learning so much from her and I’m completely lost now.
